The weather is super hot. Cold showers, icecream and icecubes just provide fleeting relief. It's terrible at night, when I feel like I'm burning instead of melting. Maybe it's not the weather.
How come I'm not enjoying this loooong holiday that I've been looking forward to since sec sch? Maybe cos everyone is busy working. And I'm bored, but not free. Still bogged down with lots of rubbish. I wish that the wave of nausea can be sustained; maybe I puke all the nonsense out. I'm so crappy that even my own world shuts me out. Think coz at 19 you don't seek refuge in daydreaming anymore.
Listening to Beethoven's 5th symphony. So majestic. Can imagine inside a big palace with a loooong purple carpet. With a tall gate at one end and occupied thrones at the other.
Crazy Laihan eating cheese. Though I already know I'm rather lifeless, being with super-high sec3 kids makes me feel very tired, faded, insipid, and other negatives associated with being old. But I really enjoy their company. Even when I don't get their jokes, its fun to watch them laugh still. They radiate some warmth and cheer into my dull world. Envy envy envy. Once I was with this group of same-age strangers, I hated them. They behave like adults.
Dunno why I look at this pic with a tinge of nostalgia. When I seriously consider studying abroad, I feel excited thinking bout the freedom, the nice scenery, and feel afraid of the loneliness and potential clash of cultures. Recently I've been thinking bout the things I've to leave behind. Don't feel like leaving Singapore already. NUS ahhhhhhh.
How come I'm not enjoying this loooong holiday that I've been looking forward to since sec sch? Maybe cos everyone is busy working. And I'm bored, but not free. Still bogged down with lots of rubbish. I wish that the wave of nausea can be sustained; maybe I puke all the nonsense out. I'm so crappy that even my own world shuts me out. Think coz at 19 you don't seek refuge in daydreaming anymore.
Listening to Beethoven's 5th symphony. So majestic. Can imagine inside a big palace with a loooong purple carpet. With a tall gate at one end and occupied thrones at the other.
Crazy Laihan eating cheese. Though I already know I'm rather lifeless, being with super-high sec3 kids makes me feel very tired, faded, insipid, and other negatives associated with being old. But I really enjoy their company. Even when I don't get their jokes, its fun to watch them laugh still. They radiate some warmth and cheer into my dull world. Envy envy envy. Once I was with this group of same-age strangers, I hated them. They behave like adults.
In the morning- 36.8kg
After breakfast- 37.4kg
After shitting- 37.2kg
After urinating- 37.0kg
Holding a lollipop-37.0kg
At night- 36.8kg
Doing this is seriously fun. (oooh oxymoron) Reminds me of chem spa. Too bad the weighing scale is gone. Can take after bathing, see how much water my hair holds. Or wearing jeans. Or after cutting hair. Or wearing my biggest earrings. And can plot graph throughout the month. See whether my pms includes weightgain due to water retention. And maybe plot body temperature graph too. Ovulation. See how long is the luteal and sthsth phase.
Dunno why I look at this pic with a tinge of nostalgia. When I seriously consider studying abroad, I feel excited thinking bout the freedom, the nice scenery, and feel afraid of the loneliness and potential clash of cultures. Recently I've been thinking bout the things I've to leave behind. Don't feel like leaving Singapore already. NUS ahhhhhhh.
Today watched Music and Lyrics with Ying. I bet she was wishing wuzun/japguy/dumdum/recruitexpressguy was next to her lol. zzz. Straight girls. Forced myself to tear at one part. I hvnt cried this year. Not good. Emotionless. Even feelings have to make such a huge effort to evoke.
Ytd watched I'm a Cyborg, but that's Okay. I think I can appreciate Epic Movie's kinda jokes more.